The Good and Bad of Asking Why?

When we run into hard times, the first question that comes to mind is usually "Why?". By this we mean "Why me?" or even "Why, God, why?". We want to know why this is happening, and why is it happening to us.

The trouble is, the reason why hardly ever comes. It is almost guaranteed not to come while we are experiencing the adversity in our lives. If we immediately knew why, we would not need to explore the situation for its informative value. The uses of adversity include forcing us to grow, and broadening our knowledge and experience.

There are good and bad sides to asking "Why?"

If you ask "Why me?" the universe will likely answer "Why NOT you?". Hard times come to all of us, in different seasons of our lives, and from different causes. It is the common lot of Man (humankind) to experience tragedy, suffering, obstacles, frustration, disappointments, and failure. Our experiences of adversity, though different for each person, are a common bond among us all. Every person experiences adversity. It is a way for us to begin to understand each other. To expect that we will be free from adversity is unrealistic. It would be to our detriment never to have life problems to solve.

But sometimes it seems we're ALWAYS solving life problems. Many of us seem to have a greater share of adversity than others, and just as we overcome one obstacle, another comes along. Asking "Why is this happening repeatedly?" can be valuable in helping you make required changes in your life. If you always seem to have relationship issues, or money problems, or employment difficulties, asking "Why?" leads to an analysis of the activities you are undertaking in those areas. When you look at what is not working, you can take corrective action to change the situation.

If nothing you do seems to work, then "Why?" becomes two deeper questions: "What am I to learn from this experience?" and "What meaning can I find in what is happening to me?". It is our search for meaning, and learning from experiences, that matures us, and helps us grow into more compassionate and capable human beings.

It may take a painful experience to force you to change your attitudes, your behavior, or your thinking. Financial pain leads to better money management, and increased efforts to obtain work that eases the burdens. This may lead to improving your education, or taking a different job that ultimately has more opportunity for you to utilize your potential. Relationship problems force you to review the way you behave with other people, and prompt you to change habits that distance you from others.

Finding the meaning in adversity may take some time. It may not be until you are well out of the situation that any clarity comes as to what you have learned from it. While you are undergoing the difficult situation, maintaining your faith in God (or the good order of the universe) can be critical. Even though you may not be able to see it at the moment, there IS indeed meaning in the trials and tragedies we must face. Trusting in God allows us to press on, to keep getting up every time we fall, and keep working toward the time when this experience will be a memory. It is faith that fuels us, when all seems lost. Unless you give up, you will see the end of the tunnel.

For every adversity, there is an equal or greater blessing that comes from exploring the meaning behind the question "Why?".