Value of Sustained Effort - a Story

Once there was a young man who had a deep desire to please God and perform diligently his life mission, no matter what that might be. So he asked God what he should do to give his life meaning. God showed him a huge rock in a field, and said "Push the rock."

The young man began to push the rock, as God had told him. He got up early in the morning and pushed the rock. He stayed up late at night and pushed the rock. Every day he continued to push the rock, no matter how exhausted he became.

If the weather was dreary, he still pushed the rock. Through storms and snow, and dark of night, and all his life events, the man pushed the rock. He made many sacrifices so that he could push the rock. Day after day, month after month, he pushed the rock.

After many years of pushing the rock, the evil one came to him and whispered in his ear, "What good have you done all these years? You have spent your life pushing this rock, and for what? The rock hasn't moved one tiny bit."

The man thought about all his effort, and realized it was true. No matter how long, and how hard he had pushed the rock, still it hadn't budged from where it had been when he started. All those years of effort had not resulted in the rock being displaced even the smallest bit.

Immediately the man was discouraged. He began to sorrow, and be angry. He felt his life had been wasted, pushing the rock. All of his hard work had been for nothing. He had made no difference at all. The rock had not moved. He had failed in carrying out his mission. He had accomplished nothing.

He desperately cried out to God, "All these years I have been pushing this rock, and it has not moved a bit. Why did you ask me to do this, when I have made no difference at all?"

God looked with compassion on the man and said, "I didn't tell you to move the rock, I told you to push the rock.

“Look at yourself. Your legs, which had been weak and skinny, are now strong and able to go long distances. Your arms, which had been thin, are now powerful and able to carry heavy loads. Your shoulders, once narrow, have become broad and able to bear large burdens. Your mind, once so immature and easily distracted, is focused, and able to solve difficult problems. Your heart has been seasoned by patience, and softened by hardship."

"Your mission," said God, "Is not in what you do, but in what you become as you do it."

Have faith, and push the rock.

[based on a story told by Dr. Robert Schuller Sr.]

Thought for Today

"My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose - somehow we win out."

Ronald Reagan,
1911-2004,
Fortieth President of the United States

Putting Things in Perspective

When you're in a deep rut, all you can see is dirt on every side. To put things into perspective, sometimes we need to be reminded not just that there's a big wide world out there, but that there's a really big wide universe out there as well.

Click this link to go to the Hubble Telescope site and see a photo which represents a sliver of the universe. Remember, what you are looking at are not stars, they're galaxies. That's an awful lot of potential.

In the great scheme of things, even our most horrendous problems and hardships are just a speck of time and space compared to the whole. Still, we are as precious to our Creator as if we were the only living thing in that great space.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that as small a footprint as we have in the universe, we can still create an eternal and widespread ripple from the good that we do, and the potential we achieve.

When overwhelmed by pain and despair, remember that there is indeed a grand plan for the universe. The myriad planets and stars, and all of its people, live and move in one eternal round that has nothing but good and prosperity as its goal.

The net effect of the universe is for life and growth, not for pain and destruction. Tap into that greater good by connecting with someone or something that uplifts your faith.

Thought for Today

"There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? Over that I have complete control."

Leo Buscaglia
Author and Speaker

Who's in Charge?

Hard times come about for three reasons:

1. The result of choices we make;
2. The result of choices others make; and
3. The result of day-to-day circumstances.

Let's deal with those in reverse order. Day-to-day life generates events that can be considered the common lot of man (of humankind). Bad weather, geophysical events, traffic jams, tax hikes, product shortages, job shortages, high housing prices, and many other problems happen to all of us as part of simply living. Occasionally there are things you can do personally to minimize their effects, but largely those events are uncontrollable. We must learn to live with the vagaries of life, and deal with things as they occur.

When other people make choices that affect us, the results can be much more severe and far-reaching. We cannot control other people, and it is futile to try. While we'd all like some degree of control in our lives to reduce our levels of stress, we are foolish if we believe we can control the actions of anyone else.

We all have our freedom of choice. That is our God-given right as human beings. Some people choose to use this precious gift to achieve their own ends regardless of the effect on others. When people make choices that hurt us, we have to deal with the consequences. As much as we would like to remove their ability to make such choices, that is not realistic. The only thing we can do is control how we react to their choices and actions.

When we suffer hardships that result from our own choices, we have only ourselves to blame. It is important to recognize that we've caused our own misery and take responsibility for it. That doesn't mean we beat ourselves up about it. Only that we shoulder the responsibility and take steps to deal with the situation, not fob it off as someone else's fault, or deny our part in it.

Maybe it isn't clear how or why your hard times came upon you. In the end, it doesn't really matter how you got into the situation, only how you deal with it, and how you get yourself out. We learn and grow from making mistakes and from failing at things we attempt. Without those setbacks, we would not develop the strength of character that allows us to overcome problems and move forward in our lives. The only true failure is in giving up.

Sometimes our circumstances are so restricted that we feel we do not have any choice at all about what happens to us. It is a wrong perception. We always have some choice, even if it's not a very attractive choice. We can't hope to get into a state of having good choices, if we've been following a path of bad choices for a long time. It will take time and effort to overcome those bad results and work toward better choices.

Ultimately, we are in charge of our own destinies. As philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said "What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us."

Resolve to take responsibility for your own life and be in charge of your future. Once you commit to being the one in charge of you, you will have the power and resources to make improvements in your life and overcome your hard times.

Personal Triage

During wartime and periods of disaster, medical staff perform triage ("tree'-ajjjj) on the multitude of patients they must treat. Triage is derived from the French trier, meaning "to sort." Triage is a method of decision-making that gives critically-injured patients the best chance for survival. In concept, the doctors treat the most severely injured first, and those whose injuries are less severe, and therefore who have more time, are treated later.

When you are deep in a period of personal disaster, with many problems occurring at once, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the multitude of serious items that need your attention. Your stress level is extremely high, and your resources extremely low. In such a state, you need immediate personal triage.

The most life-threatening conditions need to be dealt with first. Sort out for yourself which problems can have the most serious consequences, and try to deal with them first. High on the list would be your personal safety. If you are in danger of bodily harm, to yourself or those you care for, that needs to be solved immediately. GET OUT! You might think that you have nowhere to go, or that leaving your situation would cause more problems than it solves. I know that feeling of despair. We think that we can manage the status quo, and that if we make any kind of change, we are opening ourselves up to even more danger, or perhaps personal ruin, humiliation, or ridicule. Make no mistake about this, if you are already living in a climate of threat, sooner or later that threat will come to pass, and your ability to make any decisions about the situation will be gone completely. Those other consequences can be dealt with, but bodily harm is much harder to overcome.

Taking action opens up more choices. Think of it as applying dynamite to a log jam. It may seem like a drastic step, but in serious situations you don't have time to finesse the logs apart one by one without disturbing anything else. Once the jam is cleared, you can deal with the more manageable debris.

If getting to safety is your most important task, contact a helping agency in your community to assist you. Two good ones are the United Way, and the Salvation Army. They will have people to help you sort out what to do next. If the threat of harm is reduced and removed, you will have more resources left to apply to other decisions that must be made.

Personal triage can help you out of all types of disastrous situations. Focus on what is most urgent or impotant, and deal with that. In other words, put out the biggest fires first. Pretty soon the rest of life will seem a lot more manageable.

Thought for Today

"You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it's a little thing, do something for others - something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it."

Albert Schweitzer
1875-1965, Medical Missionary, Theologian and Philosopher

The Final Answer

"To be, or not to be -- that is the question," asked Shakespeare's Hamlet. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?"

In those immortal words the character of Hamlet contemplates suicide. This speech is not very different from the internal dialogue that many of us go through when we consider our sorrowful circumstances. Many times our minds are harrowed up, tormented day and night, with thoughts of ongoing misery and how to end -- simply END -- that torment.

But it is a final step, from which no recovery is possible. Suicide is never, ever the answer to that great and final question, echoed by Hamlet.

"To die, to sleep -- no more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. "

As Hamlet says, an eternal sleep could put an end to our ongoing heartache. But in trading a known today, for an unknown tomorrow, we may be prematurely cutting off the prosperous and positive future that is in store for us.

"Ay, there's the rub."

Most of us who believe in God also believe that there is a better place awaiting us when we die to this Earth. No matter what your spiritual beliefs, some version of heaven or spiritual oneness with a supreme being, where we live in a state of perfection, peace and joy, is held up for us as our potential destination when our current life ends.

When you are in emotional, physical and spiritual pain, that may seem to be a very attractive option.

But I firmly believe we are on Earth for a purpose. Our Creator placed us here for a reason, -- not for his benefit, but for ours. For our education, our growth, our spiritual evolution.

I know how hard it is to believe that now. In the deep pit of your despair, it is almost impossible to be able to see any light above. The pain seems never-ending. And if you have suffered tragic circumstances for years, and years, you may have decided that if God cares so little for you that he subjects you to this misery, then you don't much care what he's promising.

I believe God does love us. Just as the perfect parent would do, he lets us stumble and fall, learning how to pick ourselves up. He doesn't immediately rescue us from any difficulties because we would then not learn how to help ourselves or rely on each other. We would not become stronger from the challenges that were placed before us, if we were always saved from them.

We wouldn't want to imprison our children in a bubble, where they would indeed be protected but not able to experience the highs, and yes, the soul-crushing lows, of life.

As crummy as life can be, it can also be beautiful and rewarding. There are many stories of miracles, of people surmounting the most horrendous odds to succeed. If anyone else on the planet has been able to overcome what you are experiencing, YOU CAN TOO.

You may not be able to do it instantly. You may not be able to do it today. But as long as you keep going, one day or even minute at a time, you will be able to get through that tunnel and see something better happening in your life.

The important thing is to decide to keep going. Many years ago, I felt that I had absolutely no choices in life, and there was no way anything was going to get better. But deep within me I knew that I had something the world needed, even if I didn't know what that was or how to use it to benefit anyone else.

I knew that ending my life would solve nothing. Quitting has never been my style. Even though it would have been a lot less painful to just quit on life, I carried on. And I decided -- I made a conscious decision as an operating principle of my life -- that that's what I do -- I GO ON.

Make a decision now, that you will continue to strive. That you will never resort to taking your own life in an attempt to stop your pain.

Once you have made that decision, if you ever are faced with the ultimate question again, you don't even have to think about it. You don't even have to consider your response -- you already know your answer. You will go on.

I guarantee you that the rewards for continuing to exist are worthwhile, and yes, even worth any ongoing or future pain. Where there is life, there is hope. It's an old saying, but it's true. As long as you are alive, you can muster up enough hope to keep fighting. You can hope that tomorrow will be a better day. That just around the corner there may be many wonderful blessings awaiting you. And if you personally have no hope, then lean on the hope that others have for you. Let me help you have that hope.

Sometimes just making that decision will ignite a spark of light in your darkness. You begin to know who you are. I decided long ago that for me, suicide is not an option. EVER. It is not who I am. It is not what I do. That is not the kind of person I am or want to be.

Therefore I rather "bear the ills I have, the whips and scorns of time, the weary life", in the faint hope that indeed, a better day will come. And in the meantime I will grow stronger with the trying, and be valiant in the attempt.

I'd love to be able to tell you that from the moment I made that positive no-going-back decision, everything got better. It didn't. In fact, since that time, I have experienced even worse circumstances, and for longer duration. Sometimes life just goes like that. If nothing else, it has given me the wisdom and experience to be able to share these thoughts with you today. If just one person is positively affected by what I write, then it's all been worth it.

Answer the final question for yourself today. Make it a life-affirming answer. And I promise you that there will be a better day, if you just go on.

Thought for Today

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere
and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."

Christopher Reeve
Actor who became an Inspirational Speaker after being paralyzed

Adversity

It happens to all of us. No matter how successful we may be, at times things happen to bring us down, make us doubt ourselves and our sanity, or add to our stress. When adversity hits, the only way out is through. This weblog is designed to help get you through the hard times.

I'm an expert at surviving tough times and overcoming obstacles, because I've had more than my share. Maybe the information you find here can be a light in your darkness, or just the word you need to encourage you when you think there's no hope at all.

When we're struggling with hard times, we just want it to GO AWAY. Unfortunately, things just don't go away. We're very rarely "delivered" out of our problems. Things usually don't magically happen to take the bad stuff away. Only time and persistence get us past the difficulties into a new phase.

Still, there are some ways to handle adversity that I'd like to share with you. I know these work, because I'm still here.

You might say I've been:

• Burned out, kicked out, cussed out, and worn out;
  
• Locked up, trussed up, pent up, and fed up;
  
• Smashed down, broken down, pulled down, and kept down;
  
• Pushed over, looked over, thrown over, and held over;
  
• Forsaken, mistaken;
  
• Cheated, and mistreated...

But I'm STILL HERE.

You can overcome adversity by getting up more times than you've been knocked down. I personally know how hard it is to keep getting up. Boxers take a pounding, and when they're hit hard enough, they go down. The fight isn't over yet -- if they get up again. Let me tell you, in my life, I've been flattened a bunch of times, and taken a whole lot of standing eight counts, but I've never been knocked out completely. I've always managed to get up, somehow, -- one more time.

All you need to do is hang in there one more day. And then another. And then another. If trying to take it one day at a time is too much, then take it one hour at a time, or even one minute at a time. "For just this minute, I am going to keep going. "

Quitting on life isn't the answer. It's only a short term solution that takes away forever your ability to come up with any other solutions. So don't even think about it. EVER.

Where there is life, there is hope. That's all you need to do -- keep hoping things will get better, because they will. Over time (and sometimes it seems like it's a LONG time...) things will indeed get better. I'm not promising you that things will suddenly become perfect. That is unlikely. But as long as you keep striving, no matter how broken down and tired you are, there is a chance for improvement in your situation. There's always a chance. Every new day brings new possibilities.

Time + Perseverence = Success. Enough time, enough perseverence, eventually there will be some success. And you'd be surprised -- sometimes there are even miracles!

Stick with me, and I'll prove it to you.
--Beth